Stumped - An Allegory about Productivity

Assume you had a hundred year old tree stump in your yard.  Also, assume that you foolishly decided one day to try to remove it.

Being the proud owner of a pick up truck, you drive to the local hardware store to buy a piece of chain. You ask the store’s owner for the best chain he has to offer.  He escorts you to the section of the store where the various types of chains are displayed.  He describes in great detail all of the various offerings.  After all the descriptions are done, he pauses.  Finally, he breaks the silence. “However, if you really want the best, there is only one choice.  The Maxi-chain.  It is made from the finest grade of carbon steel.  Each link is individually inspected for adherence to quality standards.  They are then welded on machinery that was designed and manufactured in Germany and are ISO 9000 certified for producing consistent quality welds. After welding, each link is tested using an eddy current inspection system to assure that the integrity and consistency is maintained in the welding process.  So as you can see this is by far the best chain you can buy, without question.”  It is fair to also assume that the quality of the chain is also reflected in the price.

        After a few tense moments, waiting to see if there was sufficient room left on your Visa card to fund the investment for the chain, you are on your way home proud of your truck and proud of your new chain and ready for the challenge that awaits you.       

You arrive home and decide that no great challenge in life should ever be addressed without first having a cup of coffee.  As you sit at the kitchen table, you stare out the window summing up the strengths and weaknesses of you adversary.  You mentally run through the steps required to secure the chain to your truck so as not to have the bumper removed from your truck without your permission. 

Coffee finished, strategies developed, and plans made you head out to the yard.  You position the truck so that proper traction can be maintained.  You attach the chain to the truck’s bumper taking special care to insure its security. You cautiously approach the stump.  Wrap the chain around it and check for its security and finally connect the chain with the specially designed attachment link, which came free with the purchase of ten feet or more of The Maxi-chain.

You double-check all of your attachments; you also plan your egress.  You need to be prepared for the eventual release of the stump’s grip on the earth.  When that happens, you don’t want to cause any damage to surrounding structures by loosing control of the truck as you are dragging your adversary helplessly across the ground finally giving up its century old strangle hold on your back yard.        

With all preparation complete, the kids safely in the house, you climb into your truck.  As you turn the key you feel your truck spring to life.  You lock the four-wheel drive in place, low range.  You engage the transmission into first gear. You look over your right shoulder as you simultaneously depress the accelerator and slowly let out on the clutch.  As the slack is taken out of the chain, you hear the engine start to labor. You give it more gas. Still nothing. More gas, more clutch, more gas.  Suddenly, the tires spin.  You push in the clutch. I didn’t budge.  You try again.  Same result.  Again you try, frustration starting to build, smoke beginning to drift from the tires. Nothing. 

You rethink your strategy.  “What if I try to jerk it out.” You put the truck in reverse and back up a short distance. Your logic is to develop a little inertia.  Your belief is that by applying a shock load to the stump it will break free.        

You give it the gas, pop the clutch, the chain tightens and so does your seat belt. It saves you from hitting your head on the windshield. Now your shoulder and neck hurt because you were looking over shoulder not wanting to miss your moment of glory.  And still nothing.

Neighbors have now gathered and are looking over their fences to see what is causing all the noise and smoke. Your wife is standing at the kitchen window mildly amused at you antics. She turns and tells the kids to watch cartoons and to turn the sound up.  She is concerned about their imminent exposure to new vocabulary words, which may prove embarrassing at future dinner parties.        

You get out of the truck. You look things over. Bumper looks OK.  Chain is still firmly attached to the stump. It’s time to get serious.

Back into the truck, you put in gear. No looking back this time.  Besides, it hurts when you try to look over your shoulder now.  Gas, clutch, powers, noise, shock all occur instantaneously.  Again, again, nothing.  Finally on the fourth shot the truck lurches forward, a loud noise occurs and you wince with pain as you turn in time to see the loose end of the chain coming at you at a very high rate of speed. It seems it is slow motion yet, you know it is moving very fast.  Amazing how the mind slows things down like that to give you more time to react. You attempt to retract your head out of harms way as you turn forward assuming it would be better to be hit in the back of the head instead of the front only to have your field of vision filled with fence.

Too late your front bumper has already made contact and you can hear the fence giving way.  By the time you get your foot on the brake, the entire right front wheel along with the bumper is through the fence. 

As you sit in your truck feeling lucky that the chain broke at a point that made it too short to actually reach you, your wife is adding “Repair fence” to the list of things you need to do, which she keeps on the refrigerator.  She notices that nowhere on the list does it say “Remove Stump” or “Break fence”             

Being an engineer, once you’ve regained your composure, the analyst in you takes over. What the heck happened? You get out of the truck.  You look at the fence, the truck; all can be fixed with the appropriate amount of tuition paid.  But what went wrong?

Upon examination, you notice that the chain broke.  About four feet from the bumper, a link is stretched out of shape and the weld joint has failed. How can this be?  Isn’t ISO 9000 supposed to keep this from happening? Aren’t Quality standards, SPC, Malcolm Baldridge supposed to prevent this?

Confucius said, “I hear and I forget. I see and I remember.  I do and I understand.       

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.